The Beginning

Hi!  My name is Jenn and I am beginning something new once again!  The beginning seems to be the hardest place to start.  And maybe the most exciting.  But for me, right now, it seems to be the most overwhelming because there are no existing rules, plans, moments to expect, it is just all open and new.  And I am not even mentioning the amount of time it took to actually figure out how to make a blog.  That information would definitely make any 5 year old lose respect for me :)   But, now that I feel a small bit of success in my accomplishment, I can stop excusing my lack of blogging on my lack of a blog.

So, moving on...My name is Jenn.  I am a woman.  Sort of.  Does 28 years old become the new teenager since 50 is the new 40?  Or am I still a woman in my actual years of being alive and the fact that I get my period on occasion? I guess you can be the judge, but either way, I am a female searching, struggling, living, experiencing, striving, accomplishing, failing, (any other adjectives you might want to add), and almost always loving this human experience we are all in together, like it or not.  I have not yet found my way in the world, according to myself and my critical mind, and I always come back to sitting at my computer, writing songs, poems, pep talks, or anything else that makes me feel heard.

I started writing poetry and journaling when I was 7.  My poems became songs when I met a musician after moving from NYC to Los Angeles.  Then I continued writing lyrics and music by myself, singing and starting a band called Green Hut.  We weren't great, but we had fun, and I had blue dreadlocks to boot.  I have always wanted to write, all my psychics and spiritual guru's (yeah, I live in LA) tell me I should write, so for once I am just going to listen and do what I am told.  I figure if one person, maybe 2, my sister and my friend, read a post, I will feel a little more understood and a little more productive in the world.

So, here goes nothing, or something...a poem to start the ball rolling...I am hoping to turn it into a song one of these days...

             Beginnings

Ever wish things could be different

Beginnings would never change

I wish I could say I love you today

I don’t feel that same way

The first day we met

I thought you were going to save me

I was down and out and you were talking bout

Taking care of me

Ever wish things could be different

I wish I met you at another time

Would we be the same without our others

Or would we look another way

I wonder why things happen

Why we chose to lie

Wonder why I thought you were perfect for me

And why I opened so easily

Ever feel like we were dirty

Like we were bad, bad to the bone

I felt so good and at peace with you

But look at what I did with you

Ever wish things could be different

Beginnings would never change

I wanted to laugh and love you forever

And watch the people pass with you.

~Jenn