It doesn't mean a thing without you, ya know

I don't care if you have money, ya know
I've had it already, it doesn't help ya grow
I don't care if you have hair, ya know
I can see your eyes better when they glow

           And so you know and so you know...

I've had the riches and the fancy wine
I've danced on tables and played with the devil
it doesn't mean a thing doing it alone
it doesn't mean a thing without you ya know

I don't care if we live on a ranch or in a home
in a tent, we can still work together and grow
I don't care if we watch a movie or talk all night
I'd be fine getting lost in your eyes

          And so you know and so you know...

I've eaten caviar and played cards with kings
I've had private jets and helicopter rides
it doesn't mean a thing if I'm doing it alone
it doesn't mean a thing without you, ya know

I don't care I don't care I don't care anymore
love and money, give me the love honey
I'll take care of you and you'll make me laugh
you'll take care of me and keep us on track

          And so you know and so you know...

I've spent some holidays cruising with the waves
I've spent some long nights sleeping on planes
it doesn't mean a thing if I'm doing it alone
it doesn't mean a thing without you, ya know

~Jenn

I'm alive

Maybe Someday

She's going away

coming back someday

maybe someday

she wants to learn

how to be happy

maybe someday

everyone deserves a fair chance in life

but what if the chance came and went

you didn't see when it was calling

and now it doesn't call, you hit a wall

and in order to adjust and regroup...

she's going away

coming back someday

maybe someday

she'll try again

try a different way

maybe someday

you're only lost if that's what you believe

you only believe what your mind is saying

but what if you could change all of that

and see a whole different road and path

and possibly live a life that you want to last...

she's going away

coming back someday

maybe someday

she's looking again

when will the questions end

never, or maybe,

maybe someday...

~Jenn

Something like that

She's walking away from something
it doesn't feel good, or something
something like that
he's yelling at her for something
he's needs her to feel, or something
something like that
I'm sitting hear waiting for something
wanting and missing you, or something
something like that
come back, come back, let's start again
with everything that passed
we know how to make it last
so come back come back, or something
something like that
She sees today a different way
it doesn't feel as good, or something
something like that
He's sensing a different mood from her
she feels it too, or something
something like that
come back, come back let's start again
with everything that passed
we know how to make it last
so come back come back, or something
something like that
She's walking towards something
a dream calling to her, or something
something like that
he's missing her smell, or something
hoping one day she returns, or something
something like that
something like that ...
some back come back or something,
something like that .

~Jenn

it's all the same, just the same

Sometimes it feels
everyone is changing around me
growing and evolving and living
but I'm staying the same
            I'm just staying the same
            same life, same game
            same worries, same pain
            I'm just the same
all the work I do to get better
to reach my goals everyday
but nothing seems to happen
and everything around me is changing
            but me, I'm just the same
            same life, same game
            same worries, same pain
            I'm just the same
I could move to change it up
I could get a different job moving up
I could change my name, my look
but no matter what I do
           I'm just staying the same
           same life, same game
           same worries, same pain
           I'm just the same
it's all the same, just the same
why do you change, I'm just the same
I want to change, but I'm just the same
I'm just the same, just the same.

~Jenn

Got to move on

One day, any day
I've got to be strong and move on
one day, maybe today
I will say I'm going on
to another stage
I finished this page
I've got to move on
somehow, some way
I've got to be strong and move on
it's time when all I have are tears
it's time when I have no more years
to give to something so wrong
something that keeps me from moving on
so good bye my dear
It's time, I'm very clear
got to move on and be strong
got to be strong and move on
maybe one day I'll call
maybe one day I'll see
if you stayed the same without me
I know I will grow into something better
I know I will find a love to last forever
I know I will get to a place
you will stay in your own space
and we will go on as if
nothing ever happened
but I've got to move on and be strong
I've got to be strong and move on

~Jenn

sunday freakin sunday

I am starting to learn that there may be no right or wrong way, but just A way to go.
Now I see there are so many roads to take, all different leading to the same place.
some say live with grace and ease
some say live with order and peace
some say look above and listen for the way
some say look within to know your way
I say don't think about it too much anymore
the more I think, the more I close the doors
I say walk forward and stop looking back
the path ahead is the one to keep you on track
the person you are is the one you are meant to be
the lessons you learn are the one's you will teach
the words you speak will come around to bite you back
so walk with awareness, speak with kindness,
live knowing your life will follow you wherever you go,
and the bags you carry stay on your back, so don't over pack !!
I did a bad thing to someone, but didn't mean to hurt them
I liked them for a moment, then saw they were not the one.
I never lied or cheated, but they said I led them on
I was only speaking my truth, I can't help that I'm not the one
So, I lose a friend in the long run,
they lose a friend at a time they need one
and now in pain, a pain I caused...
I pray for hurt to go away
for everyone who gets in my way
for those who want to be the one
and those who don't and want to run.
there is no ONE, just two's three' and four's
and then a five in the next open door
lucky possibilities, hopeful opportunities,
doors opening and closing daily...
yes, it's sunday, another sunday, and I am blabbing again...
it's all the same, just another day, another day, it's all the same.

~Jenn
Go Giants :)

The truth will set us free

I feel sick from hurting you, you know it's never what I want to do.

how can I be honest and true when that is what will hurt you

how can I say I care, because I do, and say things that I know are painful

because being truthful doesn't mean saying no to pain

but as they say, and I do believe, the truth will set us free.

My truth is sometimes hidden behind the pretty flowers and lights

If I don't open the door, then you will live in your own beliefs

your own way that helps you be safe and comfortable in your being...

but I have to say what's on my mind, even if it comes out unkind

and I care enough about you and us to NOT let you believe in lies

and as they say, and I do believe, the truth will set us free.

Hate me for a while, it's okay, I know you will care again one day...

and know that hurting you is hard to do, I hate my ugly truth.

But I want to save you from believing in us, and maybe finding someone else

whose truth will go better with you, who you are, and what you do.

I wish we could be friends forever, a different kind of being together,

and even if we're not a family, we can still help each other along the way.

Ifyou need to separate now, I'll be watching your back as you walk away

If you choose turn around, I promise you'll see me watching you, 

and I won't leave because I need you too, I need you to befriend me. 

So that's all I know for now, please don't cry, it will all work out fine

and as they say, and I do believe, the truth will set us free.

~Jenn

We're ready

I feel a change in the air this week, this month, this year

like a ghost coming to town, it's different vibe all around

and I know deep down

I'm ready

Gonna pick up my guitar today and learn a new song to play

gonna take my bike out, happy thoughts are coming out 

cuz I know deep down

I'm ready

I'm ready for life to begin, I'm ready for love to come in

I'm ready to dance and sway, I'm ready for a different way

I'm ready to live for us, I'm ready for me and for you 

I'm ready, I'm ready, I know deep down I'm ready

I'm gonna take a boat and dock somewhere I can float

gonna look up at the sky and watch and wonder why

how I know deep down

I'm ready

Gonna take your hand and lead you into a new play land 

you don't have to believe, you just have to open up and see

that I know deep down

You're ready

We're ready.

~Jenn

It's all gonna be okay

Getting over the best of times we had
is taking a toll, but I'm learning to stand
without you at my side
as my partner in crime...
but it's gonna be okay, no matter what comes with the day,
I know in some way...
it's all gonna be okay

I know life is about new surprises
a new moment with every new sun rise
but living without you
is hard to get used too...
but it's gonna be okay, no matter what comes with the day,
I know in some way...
it's all gonna be okay

I used to worry about you and your feelings
so I didn't have to deal with my own yearnings
but now I'm looking from the inside out
seeing what I want, what I'm all about...

I don't want to leave you, but there's no choice
love isn't enough when I can't have my own voice
and you know you won't give me what I want
and I know I can't live without what I want...

But it's gonna be okay, no matter what comes with the day,
I know in some way...
it's all gonna be okay
it's all gonna be okay.

~Jenn

I guess we'll never know

I'm walking down a long road
where am I going, where does it go
I feel like my feet are a lil too slow
I wish this story would let me know
if we're going to be okay

I have some energy and chills
but I feel I'm just payin bills
we're just running with no thrills
and I just want to be still
are we're going to be okay

everyone has ups and downs
everyone at one point feels turned around
but it doesn't stop until you hit the ground
and no one can hear your sounds

if I knew that someday
we would be okay
I could survive anything
I could handle everything
if I knew that one day
we would be okay
I would ignore all the pain
I would dance in the rain
if I knew that someday
we would be okay

so answer me, answer me
look at me, what do you see
tell me, scold me, give me
something to make me see
I'm leaping into territory unknown
and I don't like to not know
but I have no choice so here I go...
I guess we'll never know
I guess we'll never know

~jenn

Let it go

Today is yom kippur, day of atonement, day of fasting, day of looking inward and reflecting on yourself as a person, and possibly, if brave enough, admitting wrongdoing and asking for forgiveness from anyone you might have hurt in the past...  Most importantly, asking forgiveness from yourself.
I feel that we hurt others because there is a cut within ourselves, even if we don't really acknowledge it, it's there, so if we hurt another, it means we are also hurting in some way.  Even if you look at people who have been hurt badly.  Some people want to lash out, punish those who 'deserve' to be punished...but we are punishing because we are hurting from their wrongdoing.  Whatever it is, we are hurting.  So in order to forgive, REALLY forgive, we have to forgive ourselves, and that is a much harder task I believe.
This holiday, I have already failed in the fasting part.  I attempted, but I just couldn't do it.  I AM going to temple, so I WILL ask for some forgiveness there...but, I guess I am NOT one to follow rules so much.  They were enforced on me at such an early age, very strict parents and then a gymnastics career which was like a military camp pretty much.  No freedom, and a certain way of life that basically said 'NO' to anything fun or childlike.  But, whatever, that was the past.  I am recovered, for the most part, and am now one to be slightly more rebellious for my 29 years of aging, and also one to follow my own rules...I believe as long as I am good to everyone around me and good to the world basically, then whatever rules are in front of me after that, they are meant to be broken!
But ANYWAY, here I am, atoning for my sins, asking friends and family for forgiveness, and trying to forgive myself for what I deem 'problems'...and I am coming to the conclusion that in order to forgive myself, I need to 'let go' of everything in the past that is making me feel bad...I need to let go of needing to feel bad...I need to let go of needing to feel 'unworthy', and open up to the possibility of actually having happiness and contentment in my life.  I am ready.  I am a good person, and whatever I have compared myself to in the past, for some reason, I always come up with the feeling that everyone around me is better than me...but that is just not true!  I am OKAY no matter what anyone else has told me in the past, no matter what I have allowed myself to do in the past, and fuck it all...I am going to be happy and successful and good to the world because that is what I deserve, it is what the world deserves, and what I am going to allow from now on...and I hope everyone in the world can get to a place where they feel well enough to love themselves so they can enjoy all the love and light around them...
Sooooooooooo...peace out, and wishing the world an easy day of fasting, a day of sincere forgiveness, and a start to a brighter year to come ...

~Jenn

just be YOU

Some days are hard to take
and you smile and try to fake
a cheerful presence so you can relate
to what you might think is around you...

watching from the outside in
a fish in a bowl learning to swim
fighting to let go and be within
and see what this life could bring...

today could be tomorrow's dream
nothing is what it seems to be
anything that means something to you
could mean nothing to everyone else
so why not just be you, be yourself
since there is no one else?

I'm a leaf blowing in the wind
never knowing where I'm gonna land
but sure enough waking up
everyday to a different hand...

I'm a cloud blowing through the sky
watching different cities pass me by
looking down with big blue eyes
never getting to see the sun rise...

I'm a flower struggling to bloom
in a world infected with dirt and gloom
I'm gonna burst or die real soon
sad to see life never bloom...

I'm an answer to a difficult quest
it's easy if you stop thinking it's a test
the life you lead is not at all a mess
it's just a beautiful and prosperous quest...

I'm looking out from a different view
I'm handing you the hidden clue
the key to happiness through and through
is to be yourself, to just be YOU...
and yes, this could be difficult to do,
but it is promised to simply be true...
just be you
just be you

~Jenn

Let me comfort you

If you need me today
will you call out my name
I'm just watching the rain
thinking about the pain
you are going through
so, let me comfort you

If you can't sleep tonight
ring me no matter what time
even if it's morning light
I know these long nights
are the longest to get through
so, let me comfort you

listen to me, let go of your thinking
it's dragging you down
and I see you, I see you struggling
friends can take you away from it all
save you from the hardest fall
it's what I want to do
so, let me comfort you

I needed you before
when he walked out the door
you pulled me off the floor
your pep talks and more
you got me through
so let me comfort you
let me comfort you

~Jenn

cha cha cha change

It's the weirdest thing when everyone leaves
no one stays around anymore it seems
people come and go, even best friends
We never see it coming, we're not ready, it just ends.
I guess time changes everything, even commitments
so why even make the commitment when
you know someday, somehow it will all end
commit to stay until you feel like leaving
that's what we should say...
It IS impossible to stay the same, however,
everything has to change
and I have learned from sayings and such
that change is good and something to trust
but change seems to hurt no matter what
so I have yet to see the truth in this saying so much.
Live and learn is how it all smoothly goes
I'm learning that is all seems to just go...
Yeah, so what, I'm dark and depressing at times,
but I don't whine, I don't think I whine.
I like to think of myself as young,
like wine, with age, I will mature to be strong
happy and content, I have felt it sometimes
maybe just having it at times is enough to be mine?
I create it all, misery and fate
so today, tomorrow, even yesterday,
I started to meditate, give it a year of days
I'm gonna commit to the process, see where it leads
hoping that nothing will be as is it seems...
David Bowie said it best...cha cha cha cha changes

~Jenn

I'm awesome and you know it

I'm awesome and you know it
I'm awesome and you know it
move that body, shake that booty
just take me baby take me

hmmmmmm...don't think I am cut out for writing sexy dance lyrics...trying!

I'm looking at you baby baby
look at me, move with me
do me baby move me do me
I'm awesome and you know it
I'm awesome and you know it
don't lose it don't use it
just please it and keep it
I'm awesome and you know it
I'm awesome and you know it
give it to me I'll take you places
let's do it baby just commit to me
I'm awesome and you know it
I'm awesome and you know it
hold me squeeze me love me
I'm easy if you love me
all I need is love and kindness
the rest of it is what you want with it
I'm awesome and you know it
I'm awesome and you know it

yes, there are times when you just have to go waaayyyyy outside your comfort lines...and I am trying, I am trying :)

~Jenn

we would have each other

I'm walking on a fine line
trying not to get fined
but I'm having hard time
with a life that's just mine.

I enjoy people around me
you know I love to see
smiling faces, when we agree
hands shake, loving free.

so what am I to do
when I don't feel I can go through
a life with no one to hold on to
it's scary to admit, but it's true.

would you love me someday
if you felt in the same place
and we could start today
learning how to be together

I will get to know you if you promise to want to know me
even if we never completely and totally
become one with each other, that would be okay
but we would keep trying and keep going
because everyday could be the start of a better day
and either way, either way
we would have each other,
we would have each other.

~Jenn