Misguided Robots

Left here, right there
no not there, I said here
looking so strong
without a heart
without a mind of your own
I can't trust any more
can't you see I'm here
no, not there, here
I think you're listening
but who is speaking
if only I had a say
if only I could create
what I wanted
but you have the reigns
and you like watching
watching me fall
watching me get up
are you giving me everything ?
will I get to have it all ?
left here, right there
I'm gonna close my eyes
see where I end up tomorrow
but please please please
no more sorrow

~Jenn

I can sit still for you

I had a dream, like a wave
it came at night, and I watched it still
the nights are long, but I am saved
when I saw you on the windmill
I've been wronged, but it's all my fault
and I have wronged, I'm still at fault
but I can prove the past is gone
and I can show I've learned and grown
as there you are watching me still
riding on your windmill
and I can sit, I can sit still
yes I can sit, I can sit still for you
sometimes I look back, I can't relax
what I've done, even I couldn't forgive
I needed help to move forward
before I knew even I could be helped
all it takes, one choice or decision
to make a change, do something different
all it takes to get through something
don't look back, keep on moving
but now there's you and only you
and I see you riding the windmill
and I can sit, I can sit still
now I can sit, I can sit still for you
So I'll be strong and I'll be good
I'll be everything you said I could
raise my hands to thank the earth
raise my soul to make it heard
and I can sit, I can sit still
now I can sit, I can sit still for you

~Jenn

one moment can always be...

The time has come to do something
no more resting, no more pretending
it's now or never
time to get up
raise your arms and say
I'm here, I'm ready, I have it all
no more excuses, no more excuses
I'm here, I'm ready, even if I fall
It's gonna be okay because
I'm not waiting for you to call
not waiting for something to happen
2 more moments and then I'm done
waiting for something to happen
it's here or maybe it's not
but something is gonna happen
I feel it in the air
maybe it's just today, just today
but my heart has switched a beat
and now the beats are faster
and they feel heavier and deeper
one more day and maybe we're done
one more day and maybe it's beginning
but one moment can always be
the one to make you happy
one moment can always be
the one to make us happy
just this moment, maybe the next
but one of these moment's has got to,
has got to be my moment
my special moment
the moment to make me happy
so I can make you happy
and you can make someone else happy
and my moment can be your moment,
can be everyone's moment...
one moment can always be
the one to make you happy

~Jenn

one special moment

so how have you been?
I've been okay
but really how have you been ?
I said I have been okay
but what does that mean ?
what does okay mean?
yeah it could mean a lot of things
well it means what it means
is that all you have to say ?
what else do you want to know
how have you been?
hah, I told you that already
but I really want to know more
I have been only okay, there is no more
fine let's move on then
great let's move on then
where should we go
so, how have YOU been ?
you know, I've been okay
so you're okay, I'm okay, it's all okay
I guess it's all okay
I dont like okay however
me neither, its kinda blah
maybe being okay means I'm not too good
maybe I'm not too good either
but I want to be good
so do I
how should we be good
hmmmm, that's a good question
let's say we're good now
and then we will just BE good?
yeah, exactly
okay, here we go, I'll start...
so, how have you been ?
I've been good!
really?  that's great!
how have YOU been?
I've been good too!
do you want to make good great?
how do we do that ?
let's start up again
what do you mean
let's be more than friends
really?  you think?
yeah, let's do it and be GREAT!
okay, why the hell not
that's the spirit!
so it's funny don't you think?
what is funny?
well, just a minute ago I was okay
and now you are great!
see what one moment can do
one special moment with you
and you

~Jenn

The Game of Change

If I were to play a game
if I were to find myself still
and possibly a little bored
if I were to decide that my work was done
and I needn't do a thing more
I might close my eyes and let myself drift,
drifting into the game of change...

If you've never played this game
let me share what I've been taught...
close your eyes and go back in time
what choices have you made
what would change?

For me, I always have the same dream
and I would change a lot of things ...

I should not have been so scared to leave home
I should not have been so scared to be alone
I should not have been so selfish with my time
I should not have deceived some friends and lied
I should have given more to my family
I should have walked away from abuse
I should have honored my heart and soul
I should have listened to all the advice

But now the game gets tricky
as I know, right now, sometimes I'm happy
because if I didn't make all those mistakes
if I made all the 'right' choices
I don't believe I would have found you
I don't believe I would have loved you
I don't believe I would have cherished you
and I don't believe I would have hurt you
but if having my colored past means a more colorful future with you
I would say yes to crying and hurting the same amount of times
just so one day I could have you again, and you would be mine ...

and then I drift back into today
and celebrate all of my mistakes

~Jenn

dear dear dear

dear dear dear
I am too cold right now
inside and out
too empty right now
thinking bout overcoming
this crazy place
this crazy state
of missing you
lets do something
yeah you and me
dont you want to see
if you still have hate
if you still don't love
everything I am
everything I said I'd be
c'mon it'll be fun
life is too short
to only run run run
from things that are hard
I will stand still
I will give to you
myself and what it's worth
if you just say
if you just state
you will see me today
yeah today not tomorrow
it's better to start
our life now and not later
so dear dear dear
I will wait at my door
waiting to hear
knock knock knock
let's beat the clock
make time stop
until my dear, my dear
we are walking
side by side
on this silly, silly ride

~Jenn

love

I surrender to my religion
I honor my own god
I give to the universe
I take nothing for myself
I am LOVE

I have everything I need
I do not look around
I feel alone but not lonely
I see only peace
I am LOVE

love love love
love love love
take me then let me give
all you need is love
love love love
love love love
I miss you but here I am
all you need is love

I need you to listen
I need you to quiet down
I beg your devotion
I'll help all the commotion
take me, don't look back
see me, I'm right here
push me, I'm still here
see I am LOVE
all you need is love

~Jenn

Behind us

How are you, haven't seen you in a while
I have to say how I miss your smile
it's been a long time of working for me
but I think about you and if you're happy
what do you say we forget the past
or better yet, can we put the past
behind us, behind us, behind us
it's all behind us, keep it behind us
why don't we meet when the sun sets
let's say 6:30 at that place where we met
I've changed, I know you will see
missed you so, I've been so unhappy
I don't know what I stand for anymore
you gave me everything to work towards
so I hope you haven't found another guy
if you have I will let you go, I'll try
so what do you say, what do you say
you gonna meet me this comin friday ?
I will wait to hear from you
but before I go, you should know
I love you

~J

happy happy happy

I think we are all trying
trying so hard to be happy
feeling like maybe one day
one day could be the day
where we might feel happy...
I know I've felt it
I know how to feel it
but I can't remember when
when I felt it last...
but maybe we are trying
trying too hard to survive
putting so much pressure
pressure to be the best
when we are all very special
special in our own ways...
I want us all to be happy
I want you and me to feel
feel good again together
where the love lasts forever...
and it could start today
today could be the day
where we are very happy
but if it isn't today
then I hope by tomorrow
we will let go of sorrow
knowing how bad it hurts
NOT to be happy today...

~Jenn