I'm letting you go

It's been awhile since we spoke
and I've been trying to cope
I miss you and hate you sometimes
thinking of all the lies
but now I need to let you know
I'm letting you go

there's a burning desire inside
that makes me want to see you
even though I am hating you
most of the times
but now I need to let you know
I'm letting you go

I'm letting go of wishing I never met you
I'm letting go of feeling I might forgive you
I'm letting go of wanting to try and change you
I'm letting go of hoping I run into you
I'm letting go

I don't know where you are now
but I know you will hear this somehow
I would say I wish you well
but that would be a lie
so now I need to let you know
I'm letting you go
I need to let you know
I'm letting  you go,
Bye

~Jenn

Be careful what you wish for

the day I told you to stay away
I knew it was going to be hard
but I needed to let go and walk away
I needed to be in my space

one week had passed and not a word
thought you might have called
I wanted to hear the sound of you voice
I was missing you, missing you

it was my choice to leave
now I have a change of heart
please, please we need to talk
I can't stand this feeling...

be careful what you wish for
once you get it, once it's true
the choice might not be good for you
be careful what you wish for

everyday I would take away
that call to push you far away
I wished for pain to go away
and now it's bigger than I ever felt

my wish was my greatest mistake
I wish I could wish my wish away
I hope you can wish my wish and say
you wish our love back to stay

be careful what you wish for
once you get it, once it's true
the choices might not be good for you
be careful what you wish for
be careful what you wish for

~Jenn

I said yes

we said the other day
we would not talk for a while
we both know unfortunately
we can't see each other like before
wondering if I could erase you
if that would be helpful
if I could make the last 5 years
wash away with all my tears
would I ever do it again
would I ever be your friend
it's too hard it's too hard
when love only feels lonely
when love feels this empty
it's too hard it's too hard
I thought love was supposed to shine
make us all better with time
I always wanted a partner
someone who would be mine
This darkness takes up
all the space love should be
But I'm the only one to blame
I was given you as a test
And, right away, I said yes.
I said yes


-Jenn

writing

you say you like to write
you say it takes your mind away
from everywhere to only here
you can think of love and happiness
even when life is filled with loneliness
I don't know how you say what you say
but it gets me every time
and once you start writing,
your time becomes mine
and I feel connected and far from blue
as you explore
all the different sides in you

today I went to read your page
I read that you are leaving today
you don't even care to explain
my heart dropped and I felt betrayed
through your words I could feel again
when my world seemed to be at it's end
and now you say you're done with this
I guess you didn't care about your fans
your time was mine
and now I disconnect and return to blue
as you disappear
I need a voice to fill your shoes

I sat down with pen and paper
didn't know how I would explain
but something had to voice this pain
and I remember what you said one time
writing is what freed your mind
I wrote and wrote and wrote some more
my hand was tired but I didn't care
I was taken over by a feeling
that needed to be heard and shared
I never thought I had much to say
but there were layers and layers of past years
my time flew by
as I connected to all the colors of blue
and I gave back life
to my own voice, in my deepest truth

~Jenn

I'm not the same without you

someday we're gonna see
what all this is about
someday we're gonna be
filled with love and happy hearts
someday I will be with you through it all
from the highest cloud we'll rise and fall

don't be scared it's been done before
don't know what it's about
someday the reason to be
will only be a drifting thought
someday I will be with you through it all
from the highest cloud we'll rise and fall

but today I'm no the same without you
you stay miles away
but my love will never change
because I don't know who I am
without this love I have
for you for you for you
I'm not the same without you

and I love your hands on mine
and I fill my time with your smiles
I drink your smell with my wine
I'll hold you up every time
good bye is only said once
but l'll never let you say it
and one day I will find you
I'm not the same without you
I promise I will find you
I'm not the same without you
I'm not the same without you
I'm not the same without you

~Jenn

We'll see

she grew up in a small town
didn't learn between right and wrong
she tried to study and got caught between
friends that didn't have any dreams

we'll see, said her angels,
we'll see, we'll see what's gonna be

drinking with the kids after school
she thought she was pretty cool
got behind the wheel on a rainy day
ended up driving her car into a tree

we'll see, said her angels,
we'll see, we'll see what's gonna be

life is so precious no matter how reckless
it's not gonna change unless you change your ways
it's never too late and never too soon
to change what your destiny gonna do to you

we'll see, said her angels,
we'll see, we'll see what's gonna be

I met her a couple years later
she worked in the hospital that saved her
told me she knows how I'm feeling
I took the pills cuz I stopped believing

we'll see, said my angels,
we'll see, we'll see what's gonna be

she gave me another chance, another day
but I'm just looking for a place to feel okay
I asked her is the loneliness ever gonna end
is my broken heart ever gonna mend

we'll see, she said to me,
we'll see, we'll see what's gonna be
we'll see, we'll see
we'll see, we'll see what's gonna be


~Jenn

what am I supposed to do with that

I know good people find each other in life
so how the hell did you end up by my side
your behavior is unkind
and your words are like knives
I'm so tired of your sorry's and cry's
the next time I forgive you it'll be a lie
you're cold most of the time
how you win me with one nice line...

you tell me that you love me

you treat me like you hate me

what am I supposed to do with that

you tell me that you love me
you treat me like you hate me
what am I supposed to do with that

you're driven by an ego that's never enough
and you feel you can't ever fuck up
then you come around makin me feel
I can relax and let you take the wheel
but here I am crying inside
with the fighting all the time
why I let you do it every time
why oh why oh why oh why...

you tell me that you love me
you treat me like you hate me
what am I supposed to do with that
you tell me that you love me
you treat me like you hate me
what am I supposed to do with that

I love the sweet boy I see deep down
I know you struggled, I know your scars
I really wish I could make you feel loved
but I'm not gonna be a victim of this fuxxxed up stuff
find another girl to beat up on
I'm dumping the trash this time around
you're just a little boy stuck in his frat
and I deserve so much more than that...

you tell me that you love me
you treat me like you hate me
what am I supposed to do with that
what am I supposed to do with that

~Jenn

you gotta be you

It don't matter if your english is bad
and I don't care what others have
all I want to know is who you are
so say what you feel even if it's hard...
Don't try and be someone your not
and don't do everything you're taught
I'll give you my number if you wanna go out
but if you wanna have me,
you gotta be you
I've been around a lot of blocks
I know what I like and I know what I'm not
I'm a good girl at heart but a bad girl sometimes
so I'm not looking for mr know it all
and I don't give a damn who's in control
and I'll tell you anything you wanna know
but if you wanna have me
you gotta be you
So I know it sounds like a simple plan
but I tell you I'm still looking for my man
so are you strong enough to be yourself
we could be you plus me we'd be two selves
and I don't care if you like me or not
I know I talk too much and I eat a lot
but I'll be there for you like know one will
so if you wanna have me
you gotta be you
you you you you youuuuuuu, you gotta be you you you you yoouuuuuu

~Jenn

it's all about love

you think I'm pretty stupid
I see how you look at me
I still have dreams
how crazy of me
but I'm not gonna give up the fight
even if I never get it right
because it's all about love
it's all about love

who knows when something special
is gonna happen to me
it's hard to believe
you have it so easy
but I'm not gonna give up the fight
even if I never get it right
because it's all about love
it's all about love

here I am looking for a break,
I can see it in my mind, I wish that meant something
I'm throwing petals to the wind
praying they will come back again
the best part about living a dream
is finding out that you can win

so look at me and try to say
you know better than my way
I dare you I dare you I dare you
now silence has the best of you
but I can't give up the fight
even if I never get it right
because it's all about love baby
it's all about love
yeah it's all about love
it's all about love