here we go again

here we go again
now we stop talking
look we are so mad
I'm not gonna back down
I don't care if you're sad
I had a dream you came to me
you said I had a heart
you said you wanted me
you talked of a new start
I had a dream I was happy
and you were next to me
then I woke up remembering
we are not even speaking
here we go again
now we stop laughing
look at me I am hurt
how can you be so mean
I try to tell you how I feel
and you don't want to deal
here we go again
I'm hurting can't you see
we can't do this you and me
it's such a waste of time
when I want your hand in mine
here we go again
I'm not going to call
try to break down your wall
another sleepless night
look how much we fight
here we go again

~Jenn

something to look forward to

tell me my future only if ...
tell me what's to come only if ...
only if there's smiles and laughs
only if I get to have you
only if I have something
something to look forward to
only if

share with me your past
share with me your thoughts
only if you want to be heard
only if I get to see you
only if you want something
something to look forward to
only if

tell me a story only if ...
tell me a lie only if ...
only if it might help me smile
only if it takes me away
only if it gives me something
something to look forward to
only if

all I need is something
something to look forward to
something to give me hope
something that will help me cope
something I might get to hold
something that has some love
something that will be mine
something to have in time
all I need is something
something to look forward to

~Jenn

Man On The Subway

The man on the subway was tall, so tall where he couldn't stand upright on the subway, he had to slouch.  Sarah was extremely short, she could probably stand with her arms lifted and not touch the subway ceiling.  Sarah didn't know this man's name, but he was on the same train almost daily.  So, at 5:12 pm, sarah rode the train home every day with this tall man.
Today was the same as all the others, people crowding the subway, pushing each other, a rancid smell of a hard day's work, and the tall man, standing in the corner.  Sarah couldn't help but stare at him today, drifting away in her thoughts...

I see you today, look at me look at me
what you don't know, it's all I see
grace, intelligence, humility,
how can I get you to look at me
I don't like myself, at least right now
it seems that nothing I do makes me happy
and here you are not looking at me
I want to run away, I want to be saved
but what can I give to you, what can I do
I don't have much money
I don't have much of anything
I can smile when you want
I can say things you might want
and I can hold your hand if you want
but it might not be enough for you
because you might want flash
you might want a bully
you might want someone to order you
but if you don't want those things
I will stand by your side for the ride
Mr. tall man on the subway
what do you want from me
what can I give to thee
I want to attach to something good
but I can't find anything good
that wants me and all my bad
mr tall man on the subway
wonder what you're thinking...

The subway came to a sudden stop, jolting Sarah back to reality.  Sarah watched the tall man exit the subway, 68th street and lexington, this was his exit every day.  Before the doors closed, he turned to catch Sarah's eye.  The lines on his face softened and he nodded his head, signaling to Sarah that he too recognized her, and would see her again, tomorrow...

~Jenn

I Wish

I wish that you would call for me
I wish you to like what you see
I wish the sirens weren't so loud
I wish you liked me being around
I wish you'd say my name again
I wish we could be more than friends
I wish and wish and wish, it's what I do

I wish I was a little smarter
I wish I had a better mother
I wish I could sing a little better
I wish we could always be together
I wish the world was a kinder place
I wish I didn't remember your face
I wish and wish and wish, do you wish too

I wish I had a lot of babies
I wish we'd be good married
I wish I wasn't afraid of dying
I wish I would stop crying
I wish you'd give another chance
I wish you'd join me in this dance
I wish and wish and wish, it's what I do

I wish I loved you more
I wish your love was pure
I wish I could erase some years
I wish you could wipe my tears
I wish you'd call me some time
I wish you'd forget my crime
I wish and wish and wish, do you wish too

I wish and wish and wish I'd be with you
I wish and wish and wish you'd see it too
I wish and wish and wish and wish for you

~Jenn

new class

Soooooooo...I started a new writing class at UCLA to try and shift things around for me, recharge my battery, inspire me, challenge me, make me do homework, push my limits, etc...had one class and already I feel I am not good enough to write...instead of taking a song writing class, I enrolled in a creative writing class, thinking any kind of writing is going to be good for me ...and it's mostly working on fiction and short story writing...songs to me a short stories in a poem, so writing regular short stories is a huge difference, and after one class, I am not sure how to tell a story, or better yet, how to make up a really good story...most of my writing is based in real life feelings and events and life stories, so I am glad yet terrified to be trying something new.  BUT,  am not going to quit the class, I am going to do my homework, and I am going to push myself to be a better writer.  So there.  The end.  And, of course, to be continued...oh wait...before I end, our first homework assignment is to write a short story of only 150 words.  150 words is not a lot!  and it has to be EXACTLY 150...we shall seeeeeeeeeeee :)

~Jenn

wasted thoughts

I don't want to miss you
it kind of ruins my day
I want to be done and through
with all these wasted thoughts
of you

I don't want to feel sad
it makes the day go slow
I rather be angry and mad
with all these wasted thoughts
of you

I hate feeling alone
and I know everyone feels it
at times, it's common
but I should throw a stone
for every wasted thought
of you

I want to feel complete
and walk with my head high
smiling from head to feet
without these wasted thoughts
of you

I know I want to love
my heart giving to the sky
letting go of the caged dove
with no more wasted thoughts
of you

but today is today, and...

I don't want to miss you
it really ruins my day
I want to be done and through
with all these wasted thoughts
of you

~Jenn

he's my hero

He sings to me when I'm sleeping
he covers me when I'm cold
his listens when I'm weeping
he wants my hand to hold
he's my hero, he's my hero

He will always answer my call
he'll crack a joke to make me laugh
he picks me up every time I fall
he doesn't care if I'm thin or fat
he's my hero, he's my hero

I had a dream I've met him
I have so much to give him
I can almost feel him
in the night I want to touch him
I had a dream I'd find him
I know he's very close
I think I might have seen him
I think I might even know him
he's my hero, yes my hero

He takes charge when I feel confused
he knows when to let me go
I let him think I can be amused
he always loves, I need to let him know
he's my hero, he's my hero

~Jenn

I'm a bird

I'm a bird, chirpety chirp
I want you and you want me

but why, why don't you see

I can't be with you and be free...

and I need to be free.

I'm a bird that's perched 

on top of the highest tree

and I can fly high above 

so I can look down and see

all the love that goes on and

all the hate between everyone 

and I know that when I see  

any pain or suffering, 

I can fly far away 

when it's too much to take.

I'm a bird, can't you see

you can chirp with me 

if you can fly up to my tree

there's an empty branch 

right in front of me

we can fly together 

and watch each other 

as long as you don't smother 

with your needs and desires 

as long as you let me be 

on this branch, this tree...
but, as long as you see I'm free,

you will hear me sing...
I'm a bird, chirpety chirp
but why can't you see
I want you, if you want me 

~Jenn