I don't belong with you :(

when you knocked on my door
I didn't want to be home
I was silent when you walked away
but I wanted to run to you
I didn't want you to know that
you 're too good for me
your eyes make me cry
your too good for me
I know you would get sick of me
I'm saving you from feeling let down
I'm saving you from feeling bored
I'm saving you from wasting your time
I don't belong with you

I know you are going to feel hurt
I see you cry and you want my love
but can't you see you don't see me
you don't see how I spend my time
you would get restless around me
you don't see I am selfish
and you might catch me in a lie
you would get frustrated with me
and all of my silly dreams
I'm saving you from feeling let down
I'm saving you from feeling bored
I'm saving you from wasting your time
I don't belong with you

deep down I want you to be happy
I want to be the one you remember
even as you try to find another me
I love you that much to let you go
but I never want to see you leave
I don't make any sense at times
but you're the only one who understands
can't you see you're the one
but I can't risk seeing the end
I'm saving you from feeling let down
I'm saving you from feeling bored
I'm saving you from wasting your time
I don't belong with you
I don't belong with you

~Jenn :(

excuse me

excuse my failure to write everyday this year...

I've been preoccupied with work and recording some new songs and rehearsing for a show and mingling with friends and hanging out with some family and and and those are my excuses, take them or leave them, I hope they lend a hand in believing that I have not disappeared in any way, I haven't died or given up, I have just been immersing myself in projects that exhaust and inspire me.  This year, already the end of january, I am feeling pretty positive and happy for a change.  Better days are coming this year, my way, everyone's way I am hoping, praying, and it's about time dammit!

Hopefully I will have something to write about soon!

So, please excuse me,

~Jenn

my lovers never last

I wake up and I pray
before I take a break
I think good thoughts
while I meditate
and then my morning shake
I work a lot and pay my bills
I'm never late to meet
I eat 3 meals
and give to those in need
so why am I not happy?

I must be trouble, I must be bad
my lovers never last
it must be something from my past
my lovers never last

woke up next to john the other day
but I still felt alone I have to say
I think I had too much to drink
it messes with how I think
I had to call jason to say
what's up dude, how's your day
he said he had to call me back
but I think he might have just lost track
there's always miller to watch a game
but I think he secretly might be gay
and mike, oh mike, he's okay nice
but seriously, he's not really that bright
I used to have a crush on Sammy
but still, why am I not happy?

I must be trouble I must be bad
my lovers never last
it must be something from my past
my lovers never last

I remember my first love david craig
we spoke about getting married one day
I hate to regret things I have done
but I was the one to mess this one
he found me one afternoon upstairs
drinking with his friend on a dare
I never thought he would have known
I guess he called on his way home
I always cry when I think of his face
but that was it, I was full of disgrace
He never wanted to see me again
and I never wanted to talk to his friend
I think I never wanted to forgive
even though I have so much more to live...

I know I'm trouble, I know I'm bad
my lovers never last
It must be something from my past
my lover's never last

~Jenn

I'm Ready to Fall in Love

I'm ready
ready to fall
in love
with you
are you ready
ready to fall
in love
with me

and I don't know, I don't know, I don't know
how its gonna go, gonna go
all I know
is that I'm ready
ready to fall in love

I'm ready
to take your hand
look at the sky
through your eyes
are you ready
to stand still
only walking
right by my side

and I don't know, I don't know
how it's gonna go
all I know
is that I'm ready
to fall in love
yes I'm ready
ready to fall in love

are you ready
to walk in my world
I want you to see
everything I have in me
and I'm ready
to have you to hold
forever and ever
I'm never gonna let you go

I'm ready
ready to fall
in love
with you
are you ready
ready to fall
in love
with me

I don't know I don't know
how it's gonna go
all I know is Im ready
ready to fall
in love

~jenn

we can succeed
if we try
if we believe

we are one
everything
and nothing

this is what we have
nothing at all
and everything right here
will you stay with me
let me feel complete
stay with me
give me what I need

I know you know
how to say
what you want

I know you know
I don't know
what I want

but this is what we have
nothing at all
and everything right here
stay with me
let me feel complete
stay with me
give me what I need

If I tell you
all I am
will you stay

if you see me
all of me
will you leave

what if this is all
nothing is gonna to change
all that I feel
will stay the same
will it be enough for you
all that you feel
will never change
this is how its gonna be

this is what we have
nothing at all
and everything right here
stay with me
let me feel complete
stay with me
give me what I need

I hope it's enough
all of me
all of you

are we enough
for me
for you

~Jenn

Just Gibberish

It happens sometimes, I know it's here now.  I don't have very much to say, nothing to talk about and nothing to share.  Nothing but empty words to occupy your air.
It's a wave, it will pass, like a beginning and an end, it will see what we all see.  But the middle of the road is the hardest place to be.  If the wave is a good one, then you know the last half is coming to an end, so death is awaiting and happiness could be fading.  If the wave is not a good one, then riding it down is almost like waiting to be born.  Again, with hope, something new something better, something different is around the corner.  Or not.  The big question mark awaits with answers and knowledge that only time can answer.  So there you have it, look at this wave.  I have nothing to say but gibberish.  Just gibberish.  It's the rise and fall of gibberish.  The development of gibberish.  The downfall, the death of gibberish.  The word itself seems to say a lot more than it's meaning I think.  But if we didn't have gibberish, then maybe we wouldn't appreciate profoundness or greatness.  So, I love to be a team player and someone who carries my weight as we look at the whole picture.  So with gibberish, just gibberish, I add to the mix, so other works can be seen and get their fame and recognition.  At least now gibberish has some sort of purpose, no?  Yeah, I know, it's just gibberish...

~Jenn

Right now

Right now I am looking at a woman
she is standing on the corner
waiting for someone
thinking about someone
confused about someone
Right now I am watching her pace
looking at her watch
she ignores the passers by
takes out her cell phone to check
Right now I am wondering about this woman
I am close enough to go to her
she is crying alone right now
standing on the corner
as if her life is somehow over
why do I choose to watch sad things
and what makes me think I can
like anyone can
understand them and make them better
right now I am walking towards her
I have tissues to offer her
she looks kind and approachable
I am not scared of her
right now I watch a woman open her purse
she looks me in the eye
as she pulls out a gun from her bag
my eyes catch hers as she takes
a gun to her head
I see her for the last time
I am her last moment
she pulls the trigger as she stares
it seems like slow motion
I watch her take her own life
there is nothing I can do
I don't think my tissues are enough
right now is all we have
and this is my right now

~Jenn

go another way

who wants you
does it really matter
when all you do
is cling and clatter
too much mess
is not a great thing
too much stress
and you can't sing
how you gonna get it together
how you gonna get your way
wrong choices and behavior
baby you gotta go another way
   go another way
it's over soon
do you even care
you want the moon
what you need is there
you're running away
from everything real
and what you say
doesn't make the deal
how you gonna get it together
how you gonna get your way
wrong choices and behavior
baby you gotta go another way
   go another way
everything is hard
but time will let you see
you know what is right
and courage is the key
so get it together
go and get your way
choose the right behavior
and go another way
choose the right behavior
and go get on your way
choose the right behavior
and baby, have your way
choose the right behavior
and go another way

~Jenn

love me

love me
like you want to
and I promise
that I'll want to
love you toooooo
yes I dooooooo

Play me
like your want to
and I'll say things
that I'll only say
to yooouuuuuuu
yes to youuuuuuuu

we're like two peas in a pod
don't cha know we play the same songs
on the same iPod
I'm your best friend and I'll always be
it's so easy it like one two three
don't you want to love me
like I love you
love me
and I'll love you too

trick me
like you want to
and I'll promise
to always pretend
for youuuuuuuu
yes for youuuuuuuu

take me
like you want to
and I'll give you
what you need me
to give to youuuuuuuuuuu
yes to youuuuuuuuuu

If we take it slow or take it fast
doesn't matter cuz we know yes we know
we're gonna last
I say to you, I love you and ya know I do
I love that you know it's the plain ol truth
don't you want to love me
like I love you
love me
and I'll love you too

we're like two peas in a pod

don't cha know we play the same songs

on the same iPod

I'm your best friend and I'll always be

it's so easy it like one two three

don't you want to love me

like I love you

love me

and I'll love you too

~Jenn

A place to be

At the end of a long night
I'm looking for a door,
and a cigarette to light...
I've always been the one
to last long after the sun,
and my passion carries me
to places I shouldn't want to be.
We have a lot to talk about,
you and me,
and a lot to be proud of,
you and me,
but we're still looking for a place,
a place to be...
still looking for a place,
to call home, our home
still searching for someone
to call us honey,
and yearning for a place
to call my own...
and I don't mind, I don't mind
doing what I'm told
and I am kind, I am kind
to strangers all the time
so why, oh tell me why
do others have things I want
and why, oh tell me why
do you look and see what I need,
but can't plant the right seeds...
Is this the place to be?
My passion our enemy
maybe?  maybe?
scary, oh scary
that this is our place to be
this is a place
we have come to see.

~Jenn

I want to say...

I don't know what to say sometimes

because so much is on my mind

and I have so much to give to you

but I don't know if I should be true

You are the one who keeps

the key that helps me sleep

but you come and go each day

you don't hear all that I can say

and I want to say, I want to say

come home to me, come home and stay

you belong with me, come home today

I miss you so bad, I want to say

It' hard for me to say sometimes

that what you do is like a crime

you don't see what you leave behind

I promise it's more than meets the eye

so I want to say, I want to say

come home to me, come home and stay

you belong with me, come home today

I miss you so bad, I want to say

I don't think I will ever have the chance

I don't know if I will ever be brave

I don't know if you ever really deserve

I know I should probably let you go

but I want to say, I want to say

come home to me, come home and stay

you belong with me, come home today

I miss you so bad, I want to say

~Jenn

everything I do

Everything I do
I do for you
Everything I have
I have for you

I dooooo, I dooooo, everything I dooooooo, I do for you

Waiting for my love
to come through
like waiting for a flower
I wait for you

Longing is for those
who are scared
to say what they want
but I long for you

Praying is for others
who fearfully know
they might be without
but I pray for you

everything I doooooo, everything I dooooooo, I do for you
and it scares me, you doooo, it scares me to feeeeeeel this way for you

everything I think
it's about you
all that I want
it's about you

so I dooooooo, yes I doooooo, feel its alllllllllllll about you
and I doooooo, oh I doooooooo, everything I doooo is for you

~Jenn