I don't know who I am without him

I don't know who I am without him
all my daily thoughts about how to make him feel better
when we were together
are pointless lists ...
my mind doesn't know how to stop thinking
my heart doesn't know how to stop loving
and yet my soul has decided to stop ticking ...
I don't know who I am without him
I can stay really sad if I want to
stay in bed and pretend I'm ill
but that might make the love we had look bad
and I don't want to look back and regret
years spent in pain and sadness and wasted breath
love is wasteful when we are so able to look another way
ignoring all the signs that say run away,
years of love just down the drain...
I don't know who I am without him
but I remember I was someone before I met him...
I've changed in so many ways,
I have to believe I'm better this way
I wish I could erase this time and just remember
the happy times when we were together
but now is now and I can't seem to get past
this emptiness I feel from a soul that is too sad ...
I believe the sun shines somewhere in the distance,
telling me that the moment I decide to let go,
is the moment that I will never have to feel this low
again.

~Jenn