You don't see what I see until I post it. So, I am going to tell you a secret. I have been staring at a blank page, this page, for a good 30 minutes, typing something, a few sentences, a few stories, and deleted it. Nothing is flowing today?! I keep deleting what I write, and you wouldn't know this unless I shared it with you, but I don't do that often! Usually, I sit down, I start with a sentence and something just comes out of me. I have something to say all the time. Today I don't know why, but I have nothing to say, no major thoughts, no revelations, no freakin ideas???!!! I'm not going to get myself scared yet, but I am just telling you that it's an off day, a blank page, nothing to say...and today, the past couple days, I have been happy...what does this day? happiness makes you lazy? happiness makes you stupid? happiness makes you regular? uh oh, what if I had to choose one or the other...what if someone asked me, if you could choose between happiness or success, meaning happiness was a normal life and success was because work as a writer and songwriter due to being a tortured artist, what would you pick? hmmmmmmmm...
I am so used to feeling tortured and struggling, emotionally getting it out on paper, connecting my soul honestly through writing, but I have also ALWAYS wanted to be content and happy...would that make me lose everything else about me??
hope not
but what if
hope not
but what if
hope not
~Jenn
but what if?
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