It's okay to cry

My momma told me not to cry,
She worried even if I sighed
So I learned to keep my feelings inside
Even when I had my first kiss, the love I gave was pushed away
I shut down and pretended I didn't care,
I felt proud because I didn’t cry...

I turned 18, I went to school,
I wanted to fit in, I acted really cool
I got A’s and went to the gym, I let my friends set the social rules
I had a drink to soak it all in, my life turned fun and I fit in
This worked for a while, I thought I was happy
And I felt proud, I didn't cry...

I said mamma, I’m ok, I can smile through all the pain
Look mamma, I am strong, I’m in control, I won’t let go,
Look mamma, I won’t cry.

I met a boy on the football team, we were the perfect pair
He was nice some of the time, and when he wasn’t, I pretended not to care
So, I let things go and pushed them away, I thought that someday it would be ok
I got pregnant, dropped out of school, but it was okay
I was proud because I didn't cry...

We got married and did the right thing, I had a girl and she was the sweetest thing
There was a lot of fighting and one day he left my daughter and me
I tried to be strong and hold it all in, but then she looked at me one lonely day
I cried my first tear when I heard her say
She said, don’t worry mamma, I won’t cry.

Look mamma, I’m ok, I will smile through all the pain
Look mamma, I am strong, I’m in control, I won’t let go,
Look mamma, I won’t cry.

I had to make a change to try and save my daughter from me
I wanted her to feel free to cry and yell and express her real self
Everything I wanted to teach her, I had to teach myself
Then one day, I felt my tears start bubbling up from all those years
I can’t believe how hard I cried
And then one day, I let go and I cried….
I felt the hurt, I felt the pain, I felt the resistance I had to change
I felt the humiliation and embarrassment right before I felt some contentment
The more I cried, the closer I came to finding love from feeling pain
It felt so real as I cried

A year ago I held my daughter tight, bags packed for college, she was ready to shine
She cried, we laughed, we let it all go, I said goodbye to her as I hugged her so
She looked at me with her soft blue eyes, she said mamma, it’s ok to cry
She said, Mamma, I love you more than you know, and it's okay to cry.