What if I were able to blog yesterday? If I were able to blog yesterday, if I had the time to sit at my computer which I normally do and reflect and think and create instead of having to run around all day teaching yoga and going to class and doing errands and helping friends, then maybe, just maybe, I would have had 10 more followers, maybe even more, and one of them would be the one to want to write songs with me...
What if I didn't eat so much asparagus last night for dinner? Then maybe, just maybe, my pee wouldn't smell so grody...
What if I were born in Oklahoma and not NYC? I wonder if I would be married with 5 kids by now and watching Desperate Housewives every sunday...(now I just watch it if I am home sunday night :))
What if I wasn't a gymnast growing up where I left home at 14 to train for the Olympics? What if I stayed in the city to grow up without the discipline and rules gymnasts had to follow? Then maybe, just maybe, I would have become one of those NYC kids that start drinking after school to be rebellious and then maybe I would have made a bad choice in getting in a car with a girl that was drunk and maybe we would have been in an accident and maybe I would have died...
What if I married my first boyfriend in college? Then maybe, just maybe, I would be a single mom with 3 kids and living with my parents...
What if I wasn't so sensitive? Then maybe, just maybe I would have more guts to follow my heart and instincts and just NO to some people ...
What if my father was Bono? Then maybe, just maybe, I would not want to follow a music career at all and not have ONE playing on every mix CD I have...
What if I didn't almost die when I was born? Then maybe, just maybe, I wouldn't think about death so much...
Living On The Brink
I woke up one morning, not sure where I was
Turned on the telly and saw where I was
My car was in the water, people all around
I was up above, looking at the ground.
Am I dead I thought, could this be the end?
I don’t feel a thing, but I see beginning to end.
The people, they are crying, brings tears to my eyes
My friends and family hugging, my boyfriend covering his eyes.
I thought that I would help if I drove my car away
I didn’t see the oil when I chose to speed away.
I remember as I spun, my thoughts and memory
I saw that life was beautiful, and what I was giving away.
I don’t think I felt much pain in the end
But I still find it strange that I am here at the end
I don’t feel much of anything, not what I felt down there
Maybe that is why when we die there's nothing there.
What happens now, am I really dead, oh my,
I kind of feel like crying, but I have no teary eyes.
Oh my god, my life, my family and friends live on
Without me they will go, singing the familiar songs.
Oh my god again, this is really the path I took
I wonder if it’s true, another life to forward look.
I don’t know how to say I am dead and still breathing
I feel so simple in the same way I am still thinking.
But this is really it, this must be my soul just immersing
From all it’s been through so far, and what it is dispersing
Oh my god, my soul, thank you for it’s life,
But what am I right now, when is the end of this flight?
Oh my god, are you there, or am I still in thought
I have no idea what next, but I think I will let go of thought.
My family and friends, 'Farewell', maybe you can hear
I wish I told you then, how much you are all held dear.
What I would do now if I could go back to earth
And turn back the car that found it’s way into the dirt.
Well, I guess there is no choice, but to watch and maybe pray
I pray for those on earth, that they find happiness today
For tomorrow will be next, and who knows where your car
Will maybe find it’s way into the same type of bay
So forget about the sorrow, unless it’s to remind
Of all the joy and giving that's potentially in your mind.
I love you all again, but I am moving on from here
Please do me one small favor, and don’t cry another tear.
I am ok, I am, and you will be the same
Just live and love your best, do not try to tame.
I will see you too soon I am sure, so try not to think
I regret I feared this place, I didn’t live on the brink.
Those will be my last words I pass on for you to think
But do not think anymore, just live as if you’re on the brink.
I’m dead, so listen, I know more than you think
Please don’t think anymore and live as if you’re on the brink.
Don’t fear death, it’s not as bad as you think
But please don’t think anymore and live on the brink.
Forget me now and live, as death is on the brink
Forget me now and live, as death is on the brink.
~Jenn
I'm OK :)
No comments:
Post a Comment