Billy Joel

So, I love Billy Joel, I love his lyrics, his piano playing, his new stuff, his old stuff, I just love him.  Vienna is one of my favorite songs, and I love that a lot of his lyrics are so reflective of what he has gone through.  It seems most of his songs are about the woman that have failed him in some way, and no matter how many times he sings about the same thing, it always touches me in a different way.
Anyway, I am not even close to being a Billy Joel, but I do recognize that a lot of my songs seem to be about a common theme...love that I want, love that I cannot handle, or love that I have lost due to my horrible actions.  I wonder where I come up with these things :)   This is one that I dug up from the past...I read it and although I remember feeling the emotion, I am happy to say, at least right now, I have evolved and am more courageous when it comes to love :)

              I Have To Go


I love you, and that is why I have to go
What if you find out who I really am?
With all the worries and darkness I carry,
What if you find out all the trouble I am?

I love you, and this is why I have to leave
Before YOU take back your keys and
Before YOU have a chance to say good-bye.
I will do it first and save us both from trying.

This isn’t easy because I love you so,
But I have learned from the past that love is not enough
And my experiences have made me mistrust
That we could make it through if you would see me true.

So I am walking out the door.
I think it might be better to leave on a good note
Where we both can look back with love and happiness
And not with bitter regret.

Sometimes I think the memories highlight the past better
So I will always remember
How much I loved you, and you will never get to see
What would have happened to us, to me.

It is better to remember how we are right now,
How much love we have and what we have allowed.

I have to go
So you will not know
The problems we might have.
I have to leave, so please,
Let me go in peace and leave me be.
You make me feel
So good sometimes
I am not used to losing control.
So I better go
For fear of what could come,
And fear of finding out
that I might not be the one
For you.
I love you too much to see what could come of me,
And risk failing you and not loving you like I do today.
I have to go, I have to go,
I can’t wait around to see what will happen to you
And me.

~Jenn