I wish always and ultimately

When I'm alone at night
when the lights go out
and the rush hour cars are not in sight
I wish always and ultimately
that I could be more free
when I'm alone at home
when the books are closed
and the tv shows are old reruns
I wish always and ultimately
that I could be more free...
I think of you, I think of me
I think we could have had a family
I think of when I was a child
how everything seemed so easy
I think of money and earning more
how I need to change my old chores
I think of running to a different place
where I don't feel I'm in some crazy race
I want to hide but I want to be seen
It turns me around and then down
my mind so scattered, no one around
to stop the madness, tame it down
I think of the same things again and again
I question if I have enough friends
I wonder if I am a good person
I think of ways I can love you more
then I wish I could have much more
I am good I am bad I am sad I am mad
I am happy I think sometimes with some wine
And I wish always and ultimately
that I could be more free
that I could be more free

~Jenn