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Thursday, March 10, 2011

Yay I can't sleep!

I haven't slept a good night sleep in like 2 weeks now, but instead of it being because I am anxious or worried or upset about something (which is usually the case), it's because I am so freakin HAPPY damnit!  I am almost too happy to sleep!  Yes, whoever thought that sleep could be so deprived from happiness?  But it is, I tell ya, and I am living it.
I am too excited for sleep.  I keep thinking about the good things coming my way, the new possibilities that have been coming into my life for singing and song-writing, the new people I have met recently that are all so cool and so nice and creative and in the music world, the songs I am working on that I am so excited about, the positive feedback, the actual feeling that this singing/song-writing stuff could be a dream coming true...anyway, you get my point, the happiness is ruining my sleep !  I could take a pill but that always wears me out, I could drink more wine but that always wears me out, or I could have more sex, but that always wears me out ;)
So, what to do...hmmmmmmmmmm...wait til depression sets in again I guess :)  What can I do to be more self-destructive and bring back depression ?  YES, I AM KIDDING MOM !!!
But, why can't I be normal????? I think I am just too sensitive to be a good sleeper...I remember being a kid and so excited for class trips that the night before I wouldn't be able to sleep...I remember nights being really anxious and nervous for my gymnastics competitions and wouldn't be able to sleep...I remember a time when I felt so lonely and disconnected to my family and my friends that I was really depressed and couldn't sleep...I guess these things/issues just never change!  But, I am glad to know this now, because now I don't have to blame my adult self about it, I can just think it is me, jenn, and there is just nothing left to do about it...so be it!  I have to say, however, that it is so much more fun being really happy and not sleeping than really depressed!!!

~Jenn

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