Be careful what you wish for...

Be careful what you wish for because it might come true
be aware of what you pray for because it could be coming right to you...
I thought I was ready for my dream to be real
but it's in front of me now, it's crazy and surreal
and I am feeling the need to dismiss the appeal
of happiness and intimacy, my two ideal's...
Oh boy, what has god done, He's given me a gift
I've been praying for since, basically, day one
And to be honest with you and with myself
I never completely believed it could be freed from my bookshelf
all my books and stories were great in my head
I didn't have to deal with them, but for them I only dreaded
and this man in front of me now, he is saying all the right things
he's acting the part and he's telling me the sweetest things
and here I am listening and judging and trying to not punish him for opening
this door to success, this door to true love
a commitment, a family, what I have always said I want.
Oh boy, what will happen, I don't want to cause anyone any pain
I don't understand my feelings, are they real or is this talk in vain
I will let you all know the outcome of the dream, or nightmare
will I self-destruct and ruin all that I have waited for in shame
or will I walk openly and through the walls that hold me back
will I try once and for all, to love and stay on track...???

~Jenn (to be cont......)