Process process process

I'm just gonna ramble today.  Take that as a warning...
So, I have a tendency to always want to rush something.  Like I want to skip the work and the process and be at the place I am running to already.  I don't have time for the in between.  I don't have time for the mess ups in between and the fears of not getting to the place I am trying to go to.  So, I rush.  And I worry.  And I try to control everything and think it all through so I can be sure, in my mind, that I am guaranteed to be where I am trying to get to.
Well, enough of that...I am living and learning still, and I am going to stop this type of thinking.  Or try to stop it at least, or observe it at least. The process is the best part of all of it, not the end, death is the end, process is in living! Why do I want to be at the end, where there is no where else to go, nothing left to experience and learn, and nothing left to gain?  Maybe because it is safe, it is the END, it is death.  Well, I don't want to be safe anymore.  I want to explore and be dangerous and try things out where I have no idea what ending they will bring, YEAH!  I want to not worry about failing because there is no failing in process, it is just a part of the process.  You cannot fail process, you can only not participate in it...
My goal will be to NOT think about where I am going, to NOT worry about what I am doing, or if I am succeeding or failing, my goal is to just BE and Do what I am doing for real without thinking about it.  I want to be surprised, I do.  I don't want to control anymore, I don't.  I want to follow my heart and soul, they are the best parts about me, I know that for sure, so what do I have to worry bout?  Thoughts are not even real, but my heart and soul is very real, and they have stuff to say, so I am going to listen.
Ok, hope you have a great day of processing...

~Jenn